


Remember This?

by tronzler



Category: Spooks | MI-5
Genre: Lucas needs lots of love, M/M, brief allusions to past torture, three sentence story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-25
Updated: 2013-09-25
Packaged: 2017-12-27 15:11:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/980391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tronzler/pseuds/tronzler
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Three-sentence prompt "remember this?" from comment_fics on livejournal.  Post-Russia.</p><p>Memory is an odd thing.  Adam tries to help Lucas remember, but after all the memories he's left behind him in Russia, it's just going to take patience and things will never quite be the same again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Remember This?

Remember this?

It was the way he moved, the way he looked, the way he kissed and touched and wanted and needed; it was the way he held him under the sheets because he'd always remember what they did before but thought that what came after would be more memorable and it was the way he breathed against his skin and next to his ear and didn't whisper to him but spoke volumes in his eyes; and it was the way his hands felt and his muscles, and his scars, familiar but not and he imagined Adam had gained more since he'd last seen him; and it was the way that he waited for an answer, the patience so hard to keep up but out of eight years of waiting could hold him over a few nights longer until Lucas responded.

It was the way he remembered darkness and coldness and water and screaming; it was the way his body knew how to respond to Adam's hands but his mind was still too far off in dark places and painful places and places that kept him awake at night, and it was the way that Adam looked before he turned his back on him because he couldn't face those eyes and what they meant knowing that they'd changed from what he did remember and what he didn't remember, and it was the way that Lucas had built himself up to protect from the darkness and coldness and water and screaming and how when he spent the first nights there, he could touch the memories and pull them around himself for protection; but ultimately, it was the way that the memories had been ripped from him and forged into new ones and how he remembered everything about Adam Carter--because he knew he did--but he couldn't recall and he laid still those nights until Adam's patience ran out and they both turned away because Lucas had returned in body but not in mind.

It was when Adam asked him if he remembered that Lucas said no; that he wanted to, but he couldn't and he was so sorry that the memories of pain outweighed the memories of love when he thought love couldn't be broken and the way that he knew it hurt Adam to have gotten him back but then not at all--but; but it was the way that he grasped at the familiar that gave him hope that he could remember, someday, and when he told Adam, he didn't expect it to fix everything, but it was a start.


End file.
